A Boy and His Machine Gun
by Beautiful Midnight
Summary: Farfarello has a hearttoheart chat with his mother in the asylum. Rated PG13 For LanguageSituation


I can hear them all sometimes. In the morning, it's only some of them, but at nighttime, everyone comes out to play. Except me. I'm still locked up here. I hate it here. It's so dull, and everyone's so scared. Maybe He told them that I was being a bad boy and that's why they keep me here. Jei isn't a bad boy. Jei is a good boy. Jei -is- a good boy. I want to be a good boy. They keep giving me all these drugs so I can hear them. And it hurts my head -..well, sort of.  
  
~Don't move, stay right where you are.. Talking can only give you away ;so nothing to say. The voices say hello.. Imprisoned, they're invisible, but we look a lot alike. We look a lot alike.. This is boring, all we talk about is you. Come on, give me a reason ~  
  
I can't feel it anymore. Any of it. You weren't real. They weren't real. I'm not real, am I? I didn't do it.. Any of it. Can you bleed for me? No? You always were a selfish woman. No wonder you weren't my real mother. He gave me a bad mother. Two mothers. Two selfish mothers. [giggle]  
  
~A boy and his machine gun. When you're finished struggling, are you free tonight?  
  
Did they stick you in here cause you weren't working right? ~  
  
They taunt me. They tell me that they're out there and free, but someday I'll be free. I'll make them pay. I'll make them bleed. I miss my knives. They won't let me hurt Him here.. They tell me to be a good boy. Jei is a good boy, they say. I am a good boy. It's all His fault! It's His fault I'm here! They won't believe me, no matter how loud I scream. [giggles] That's from a movie, isn't it? They showed it in the common room after they gave out the pills.. 'In Space, no one can hear you scream..' They should change the line - 'In the padded room, no one will listen to you scream...' Will you tell them for me? Thank you, mother.  
  
~Don't move; stay just like you are. You look sane motionless like that; so very flat  
  
It's amazing what velocity can do when human beings are in season.. ~  
  
The nurse just came in to give me more drugs so I can see beautiful things and hear the music no one else can hear. She doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm not crazy. "Why are you here, then?" She asked, and I replied that it was God's fault. I hate the nurses here. They treat me as if I'm insane. As if I'm some common criminal. I'm special. Isn't that what you used to tell me? That I was special? Tell -them- that. Maybe I'd get a bigger padded room. Maybe they'd loosen these chains if they knew.. It hurts to sleep in them.  
  
~A boy and his machine gun.. If you're quiet we might see some. When you're finished struggling, are you free tonight? Did they stick you in here cause you weren't working right?~  
  
I can't even dream anymore. I remember dreams I had as a little boy. They were lovely.. Full of magical things. Happy things. I had nightmares too, but they were never as bad as this. The nightmare is when I wake up. When I wake up in this place. It's not fair. Why me? Why this? I didn't do it. I'm innocent. ...well, maybe not. I didn't kill you. Do you believe me? ..why not? I'm a good boy. I am!  
  
~There's a TV in every room, and it's free - even pay-per-view.. Which you'll need if no one's going to visit you.Animal. fucking animal ~  
  
You'll never leave me. He took you away but you came back. You came back for me. I missed you. He took you away. I hate Him! I want to see Him bleed. Mother, why did you go away? I'm alone now, except for everyone that comes by at nighttime and taunts me. I hate them too. No one else sees them but me... They all think I'm crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy! Stop saying that! STOP IT!! I didn't kill you and the others! God killed you! [begins to rock back and forth, sobbing] I didn't.. Jei is a good boy..  
  
~I know who you're waiting for.. No one's coming, though.. No one's coming, though. So fuck you and your principles, and fuck whatever made me. Perhaps you think I'm evil,  
  
what does it matter if we're crazy?~  
  
[slowly sings to himself to block out the voices, trembling]Early one mor- ning, just as the sun was ri-sing, I heard a maid singin' in the valley below.. 'Oh, don't deceive me.. oh, never leave me.. h-ow could you use a poor maiden so...'  
  
~Fuck you and your principles, and fuck whatever made me. Perhaps you think I'm evil What does it matter if, matter if we're crazy? ~  
  
(Song - "A Boy and His Machine Gun" - Matthew Good Band. Gorgeous song. Merr. I wrote this story months ago, and wasn't sure what song to put with it, and I was listening to the CD for the millionth time and voila! Genius was born! ^_^; Well, kind of. Enjoy, anyway. And if you can, buy the CD ("Beautiful Midnight") or download the song. Please don't sue me, Mr. Good - You'd barely get enough to buy a coffee and a donut at Tim Horton's. I'm worth that much. ) 


End file.
